Girl magazines print lies about guys
July 13th, 2006
Just a warning, this post is inspired by one of those girl magazines — Marie Claire or something like that, it had Ashley Simpson with her new nose on the front — and it may contain much more information than you’d like to know. This information is on the sexual side of the spectrum so consider yourself warned if you choose to keep reading.
With the disclaimer out of the way, the article in question was one of those “what guys are thinking†type of things. I enjoy reading those quizzes and surveys to see what type of info these mags are giving young girls these days and how truthful they are.
For the most part a lot of what this particular article said was pretty on target. While I couldn’t agree with the majority of “guys asked†— that is if they even ask real guys — I do know some guys that would agree. That is until I read a little section about guys coming clean on some of the lies they tell, or something like that.
This “lie list†included the quote that “blue balls don’t really hurt that muchâ€. Bullcrap! Blue balls hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! Maybe it’s just my problem because I don’t have iron nuts. Maybe these guys that were interviewed have balls of steel and really don’t think blue balls hurt. Until a guy I know personally comes up to me and tells me that blue balls don’t hurt I am not going to believe it.
The only reason a guy would tell his girlfriend/friend with benefits/date that blue balls don’t hurt that much is for some type of sympathy — which may seem backwards but stick with me here. When the action heats up and guys start complaining about blue balls, from what I can gather, most women take a step back and stop everything they are doing. In a guys mind, if he wants to keep things going, get the action hot again he’s got to stomp out this whole blue ball mess.
By saying that it “doesn’t really hurt†or that “it’s nothing, really†the guy wants to get back on the saddle, pick up the action and hopefully progress it along to a point where he’s going to get some release. From my point of view that is the only reason he would lie about blue balls not hurting.
For the sake of information dissemination I’ll try to explain what blue balls feels like. Guys, feel free to skip this paragraph if you’re actually reading this post. Ladies, if you can, imagine that it’s that time of the month. You’re not feeling too good and you feel bloated and lethargic. You know those cramps you get in the bottom of your stomach? Well, at least to me, getting blue balled not only puts a hurt on the boys but it travels slowly up into my mid section as well. I start to feel like I’ve got a stomach-ache, just get lethargic and overall feel like 10 pounds of crap in a five pound bag.
In the spirit of putting this post to rest, if a guy you’re involved with mentions he’s getting blue balls either a) decided if you want to keep going to a point where you’ll help him release that pressure, or b) sympathize with him but be straight and tell him you’re not willing to go that far at this time, wish him well, take care of the pleasantries and let him get home to take care of business himself.
And now that this diatribe is over, back to our regularly scheduled program.
July 13th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
I’ve been lurking here for a bit; I think I found you through The Diet at Colin Devroe’s site.
This was some funny sh*t. I like your analysis of the backdoor sympathy that some guys seek. I think you are dead-on that some guys try that.
From what I’ve heard, some guys experience blue balls worse than others. For some it is pain, for others just mild discomfort. I’m assuming that the variation is physical and/or possibly due to period of time between pipe cleanings. Either way, being horny and frustrated is no fun for anyone.
July 13th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
hrmm interesting. I’ve never really had the blue balls discussion but maybe it’s because I’ve never really gone halfway. If I’m gonna get a guy that worked up I already plan to give him the full ride. Pardon the pun.
I’ll have to ask my husband about this.
Ok I just explained and at the end I said “Does that hurt?”
His reply was “It can… it can be extremely uncomfortable”.
July 14th, 2006 at 6:28 am
@Spants: The whole backdoor sympathy thing, I’ve tried it. That’s how I know that most guys are thnking the same thing. You’re right though, it doesn’t matter who you are, being horny and frustrated sucks.
@Breigh: Goood for you ;^) Sounds like your husband may be one of those guys that isn’t affected too badly.
It would be very interesting to hear the other side of the story. How does it feel or what’s the experience from a womans standpoint when it get’s hot and heavy for a while before the brakes are applied — either by outside influence or some other reason.
What say you ladies? Care to enlighten us lowly men?
July 14th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Well, I think it has a stronger emotional effect on women than men; perhaps we take it more personally?
Honestly, my horniness doesn’t go away. Either I’m getting some sex, or I’m self-lovin’. Basically, I’ll be all revved up and redlined for hours. It’s really annoying. But it doesn’t hurt. It’s kind of like my genitals are nagging me. Ha.
July 18th, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Blue balls as the media portrays it is a BAD thing when in reality IT is real and IT is painful. I’m a 32 year old women and if my boyfriend says he has blueballs I giggle and say well fix it. I’m pretty common sense when it comes to sex. If something is hurting stop what you are doing or if it a good pain then continue with waht you are doing.
In my experience with having been married at one time and with other boyfriends, blueballs came on and they either masturbated or we had some sex. It is the same for women… I have had pain from not finishing sex and have either had to finish to climax myself or get the other person to help out.
I stopped reading womens magazines about 10 years ago only after realizing how awful they made me feel. They suggest many things that put down the opposite sex and in turn create surreal expectations from the reader.
Ah anyways I enjoyed reading your post… it was good and honest.
Cheers!
July 18th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Thanks, Jessica and Spants, it’s good to hear the female side of things. Glad you enjoyed the post.
October 7th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Last nite my boyfriend told me he had blue balls, but I wasnt ready for sex and he really pressured me to go farther.
It was a BAD experience for both of us. Im sorry if it hurts, but how do i know youre not lying about how bad it is just to get some action? and why cant you just go jack yourself off??
This should never be a source of guilt or pressure for the girls.
Its seriously a turn off. and its manipulative.
October 10th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Andrea, I’m glad that you stuck to your guns and even though there was pressure you stuck to your morals. I commend and appreciate that.
As far as lying about how bad it hurts I can only speak from personal experience, which is exactly what I wrote above. If you think that a guy you’re with is lying about it hurting too much to get sex I’d suggest (a) let him deal with it alone, or (b) find a compromise where you don’t have sex but you still help out. It’s unfortunate that your experience ended badly for both of you. Hopefully it won’t happen again.
You’re absolutely right though, this should never be a source of guilt or pressure for girls. No girls or women should feel bad because of blue balls, I just wanted to eductate — if you will — people on what blue balls are actually like.
December 10th, 2006 at 4:40 am
I got some questions for you all…my boyfriend told me last night that he doesnt wanna do anything because he always ends up with blue balls. It sort of did make me feel guilty but what am I supposed to do when I’m a virgin and his idea of ejaculation is onlyyyy through sex??????????? i want to satisfy him, eventually we will have sex, but i need to feel comfortable with him first…
December 11th, 2006 at 11:05 am
Vanessa, if his idea of ejaculation is only through sex that’s his problem, not yours. There are plenty of ways to deal with ejaculation, blow jobs, masturbation, hand jobs, and that’s not counting all the fetish style acts out there.
As we said earlier, you shouldn’t feel pressured into giving it up before you’re ready and that’s something your boyfriend is going to have to deal with. If there are real feelings between you two he’ll wait — he may not like it but he’ll do it.
Also, while he’s waiting, he shouldn’t try to guilt you into going further than you’re comfortable going. If he doesn’t let up about having sex or he doesn’t stick around because he doesn’t want blue balls I’d start looking around.